Yes you can! Yes you can find love online.
I have heard that 40% of people getting married have found their partner online.
This is how I found love in cyber space and turned my life around-- the start of a big adventure that is continuing.
Having battled long and hard with a French dating site I stumbled across a truly wonderful site called OK Cupid. It was and may still be a free site compared to the others that charge a monthly fee or some other fee to part your money from you. However the attraction goes way beyond that, it is user friendly and the ladies on it seem so much more interesting and talented.
(Note to CEO of OK Cupid, please put cheque in the post).
Seriously, as with other sites, you have to answer lots of questions, and the answers are turned into a score that rates to what degree the other person is a Friend or Enemy. You can then search on who is rated highly as a Friend or perversely who is your biggest Enemy. Opposites attract, maybe!
I was fascinated and in wonderment as I searched for the perfect woman. But after a while, it felt like, Hey, something is wrong with this site I can't find anyone living closer than Paris, not strictly true Barcelona was slightly nearer.
Everyone seems to be living in United States! Let me check the settings on my computer. My location is shown as Saint Girons. Perhaps there is a Saint Girons in California or Louisiana.
No it is definitely set on the French Saint Girons.
Wow.....these American women are so good looking, they can't all have fake photos, they are intelligent and artistic. Such a shame they are so far away but I can still have some good email exchanges. I just won’t get my hopes up that this will be anything more that a cyber pen pal exercise.
Over the course of a month I met, (online) a number of great people and had an insight into their lives, I hope they felt the same way.
Some have remained friends, while others have dropped away.
What attracts one person to another on dating websites? I imagine that the sites do mega research into it but from a personal point for me it starts with the profile. What interests does this person have? Are they compatible with mine? What are the differences? Do they fascinate me?
Don't get me wrong. Of course I look at the photos, though I hope that I have outgrown the shallowness that beauty is just a physical thing.
Okay that's the preamble. Picture me: I'm sitting in my house in France checking out these beautiful American women, most at least 4000 miles away. Is that not weird?
I'm thinking is the US that far away, just a flight away, have I the nerve to go even if I was invited?
Then I am struck by this gorgeous image that fills my computer screen. She has long blonde hair and the most strikingly beautiful blue eyes. I start to read her profile I'm captivated by it and excited. She is so active--likes to ride bikes, scuba dive, paddle board, dance, is very creative and spiritual.
Where does she live............HAWAII. What, isn't that somewhere in the South Pacific? What the hell do I know about Hawaii? Elvis made a couple of films there. "Book him Dano, murder one" springs into my head from the TV series, Hawaii Five-O. Anything else? No, not really.
Is there any point in writing to her? My head is saying no but my heart is saying, "Go on you've got nothing to lose ". For once in my life I listen to my heart and write a message explaining who I am.
For some reason the words just flow from my key board, I feel romantic, elated as though I'm on the brink of something big. Little did I know how big!
I had no doubt that when it was time to hit the send button I would, thence set in motion a change of events that has lead me to where I am today writing this.
I'm jumping ahead of myself.
Having sent my message I was nervous, checking the computer constantly to see if I had received a reply.
There it was a lovely response to my message: One message and I was starting to fall in love. Pull yourself together! It’s not going anywhere were my negative thoughts.
I still needed to reply. Again, the words flew. Again, I agonized over whether I would get a reply.
It was exciting waiting, though full of apprehension. I started to find out more about Hawaii. It was a lot further away than I thought: Seven thousand seven hundred and seventy miles to be exact. Three sevens that's lucky, isn't it, I wondered, grasping at straws!
The messages on the site progressed to personal emails. As we continued our online dating, we definitely had a connection and I was learning so much about areas of life that had passed me by, this whole spiritual thing for one. The problem was a small matter of distance. Could technology come to the rescue?
Of course it could: There was Skype! This could be a blessing, a chance to see one another, to make a better connection. On the other hand it could be a curse. With the sound of the voice one can conjure up the image one wants only for that image to be shattered when actually seeing the person. What will it be for me?
Arrangements were made, a time was set for our first Skype. With a phone it doesn’t matter how you look, but with Skype you can see each other. I had my hair cut and changed into my Sunday best......I'm ready!
Lots of things go through your mind: What if she doesn't like me? What if I don't like her? Will there be any of those awkward silences?
I needn't have worried. Suddenly I was talking to this gracious lady thousands of miles away about my life in France, and her life in Hawaii. I gave her a tour of my home, and introduced her to my dog. Conversation came easy; it flowed. We spoke for an hour before we made arrangements to Skype again.
Skype became our means of communicating. We would talk everyday. Normally, it would be my morning and her evening due to the 12 hour time difference. These talks would be the highlight of my day lasting generally for over an hour.
We were getting to know each other and I liked what I saw and heard. I hoped she did too.
During one of these sessions we were talking about Tuscany and how it was top of her list of places to visit. I suggested against hope, get to Paris and I will take you to Italy.
I had planted a seed and hoped it would grow. If truth be told I had been hinting at the idea of her coming to Europe on a few of our Skype sessions.
I'm not sure how it happened; however there was a moment when she said that she would come to Paris and I offered meet her at the Airport. This must be one of the biggest "Blind dates" in history!
Is this all a step too far and too fast?
Does she turn up, do I go to meet her?
Does it end in tears or laughter?
What do you think? Put your best guess in the comments.